News and notes while the Cardinals go for the brass ring and sign Ron Villone to a minor-league deal…

Pence injured in sliding door tumble (MLB.com) Houston’s young star Hunter Pence has trouble with sliding glass door, cuts hand and knees.  Something tells us the story will change a bit here.

Tejada won’t discuss Mitchell Report (AP/SI.com) Expect answers similar to Chico Escuela when asked about his involvement in the Mitchell Report.

Report: Giants, Coughlin close to deal (The Sports Network) The Super Bowl champion New York Giants and their head coach Tom Coughlin are closing in on a pact that would keep the bench boss in the Meadowlands till 2011.

Noel Devine in some hot water (The Dominion Post) Morgantown Police investigating incident that involves WVU star running back Noel Devine (i-Five to TheBigLead for the tip).

ESPN.com to launch channel for print pub (MediaWeek) The Worldwide Teaser to publish online home for it’s printed publication, ESPN: The Magazine.

The NHL is no stranger is pranks (YouTube) On Monday, we brought you the Kyle Kendrick prank. Today, some NHL veterans have some fun with a rookie’s car keys.

News and notes while the Patriots go after Matt Walsh…

Ranking the best GMs in the game (SI.com) Jon Heyman of SI.com has the usual suspects atop the list. Great nugget: The poster boy of  “Moneyball” is retiring.  Jeremy Brown, the pudgy OBP machine, is hanging ‘em up at age 28.

Study: Jeter is worst defensive shortstop in baseball (New York Post) Predictably, the New York media is none-too-happy with the results of this University of Pennsylvania study.

Time for Pettitte to tell the whole truth (FOXSports.com/New York Post) Joel Sherman of the New York Post wants Yankees pitcher to come clean.

Tennesse punter gets DUI, loses scholarship (Chattanooga Times Free Press) Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

..and finally…

Kyle Kendrick gets punked by teammates, management (YouTube)

News and notes while making a brief return…

Questions good enough to launch a rocket (FOXSports.com) Ken Rosenthal writes for FOXSports.com that it’s now gametime as Congressional hearings are set to go Wednesday for Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee.

Vikes’ Udeze has leukemia (KSTP.com) The Minnesota Vikings are extending their “thoughts and prayers” to defensive end Kenechi Udeze after a television station reported Monday that he has a form of leukemia.

NFL looks beyond experience for its new crop of coaches (SI.com) Don Banks of SI.com takes a look at the spate of NFL head coaching hirings this offseason.

Mayock doesn’t see McFadden in top-20 (Pancake Blocks) NFL Network draft expect Mike Mayock released his top-10 overall picks Monday and Arkansas’ Darren McFadden didn’t make the cut — or a spot in the top-20 (i-five to TheFanHouse for the story).
Malarchuk remembers the blood (Calgary Herald) The former NHL goalie who had his jugular vein sliced 19-years ago speaks out on the similar injury suffered by Florida Panthers defenseman Richard Zednik on Sunday.

…and finally…

Chris Berman video fun (YouTube/The Big Lead) We missed out on the Chris Berman video frenzy in the last week or so, but The Big Lead found one Tuesday that we have to share.

News and notes while coming to the realization that Gary Bettman has been NHL commish for 15 freakin’ years…

Kevin Everett: Standing tall (AP/Y! Sports) Five months after accident, the Buffalo Bills tight end is walking, standing tall.

Giants GM Reese hits jackpot in first draft (USA Today) In his first year on the job, New York Giants GM Jerry Reese has done a solid job in the NFL Draft, writes Tom Weir of USATODAY.com.

Irish hire Tenuta as assistant coach (AP/SI.com) Jon Tenuta, who guided the Georgia Tech defense to a 20th-ranked finish in ‘07, has been hired as assistant head coach for defense. He’ll assist DC Corwin Brown.

Agent meets with committee lawyers (AP/MLB.com) An employee of the sports agency that represents Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte spoke Thursday to the congressional committee investigating drugs in baseball.

Professional sports is very interesting (The Onion) We read it. We laughed. We’re sharing.

…and finally…

ESPN bloopers (YouTube) The YouTubes had the Chris Berman clip of him going batshit crazy over a production error. Today, we bring you other ESPN bloopers.

News and notes while Stromile Swift needs some anger management help…

Poulter: I can challenge Tiger (Reuters) The last guy that made such a claim got his butt-kicked.

Strahan living it up (Y! Sports) Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports writes that New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan is enjoying his second crack at an NFL title.

Tollner named QBs coach/assistant to the head coach (The Press Democrat) Matt Maiocco of The Press Democrat (Santa Rosa, Calif.) writes that the San Francisco 49ers have officially tabbed Ted Tollner to coach to quarterbacks and will also be an assistant to head coach Mike Nolan.

Brooks not hired, yet (PFT.com) Despite Len Pasquarelli’s confirmation, ProFootballTalk.com states that the Washington Redskins have not hired — or have come to any agreement — with Larry Brooks to coach the defensive line.

Fresno St. OC will take same job with ‘Bama (SportingNews) Sources have told Sporting News’s Tom Dienhart that Jim McElwain will replace Major Applewhite as offensive coordinator at Alabama.

…and finally…

Mike & Mike, sad media folk and the Fox Sports Grill (Deadspin) Will Leitch’s evening in Glendale, Arizona.

News and notes while SI.com’s Richard Deitsch covers Super Bowl media day so we don’t have to…

KU coach Mangino undergoes tests (Kansas City Star) J. Brady McCollough writes that Kansas football coach Mark Mangino underwent tests at Lawrence Memorial Hospital for undisclosed reasons.

Indianapolis planning bid for 2012 Super Bowl (AP/USATODAY.com) With getting ready to open Lucas Oil Stadium, a retractable-roof facility, the city of Indianapolis is prepping a bid for the 2012 Super Bowl.

Katz closer to buying Oilers (Edmonton Sun) Jonathan Huntington of The Edmonton Sun writes that billionaire Daryl Katz is closer to becoming the new owner of the Edmonton Oilers after another potential bid has fallen through.

MLB to end Hall of Fame Game (MLB.com) The San Diego Padres and the Chicago Cubs will take part in the last game to be played at Cooperstown, New York’s Doubleday Field.

Barbaro’s ashes to be interred at Churchill Downs (AP/Y! Sports) It’s been awhile since we posted something about the legendary racehorse Barbaro, so we give you this: his ashes will be interred at Churchill Downs.  Say a little prayer!

…and finally…

Eric Crouch finds a new career: All-American Football League quarterback (AAFL website) This PDF document shows that the Texas-based squad selected Eric Crouch to be their quarterback.

News and notes while computers decide your NFL champion…

Ryan non-committal about interest in becoming Rangers president (AP/Y! Sports) Hall of Famer Nolan Ryan has an offer to take over as president of the Texas Rangers.  Ryan is currently working for the Houston Astros.

Browns, Crennel agree to two-year extension (AP/NFL.com) The Cleveland Browns extended the contract of Romeo Crennel after he led the club to a 10-6 mark, their best record since 1999.

A thank you to Larry Smith (STLToday.com) Bernie Miklasz of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch writes that Missouri football fans owe Larry Smith, who passed away Monday at age 68, thanks for getting the program on the road to respectability.

Kidd: Time to ‘move on’ (ESPN.com) Ric Bucher, who seems to get more things wrong than right as it relates to Kobe Bryant, reports that the agent for New Jersey’s Jason Kidd is seeking a trade for his client.

Webber: ‘Done deal’ to return to Warriors (AP/SI.com) In an email to the Associated Press, Chris Webber has confirmed that he has agreed to return to the Golden State Warriors.

…and finally…

Gilbert Arenas really loves ‘God Save the Fan’ (NBA.com) Gilbert Arenas, a.k.a. ‘Agent Zero’, writes that he really, really likes Will Leitch of Deadspin.com’s new book ‘God Save the Fan’. And he’s only up to chapter 2.

Former UA football coach Larry Smith dies (Tuscon Citizen)

Larry Smith, who coached at Arizona, Missouri and Tulane, passed away at age 68 in Tuscon, Ariz., the Tuscon Citizen is reporting.

Smith suffered from leukemia and lymphoma.

News and notes while in awe of Shawn White’s 1260 (video)…

O’s deny Bedard deal in place (Baltimore Sun) On Sunday, The Seattle Times reported that the Mariners and the O’s were close to finalizing a trade for lefty Erik Bedard.  Now comes word from The Baltimore Sun that the Orioles are denying that a deal is done.  Also, Bedard’s agent told The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec that he hasn’t been notified of such a transaction.

Brady acknowledges injury, says he’s ‘ready to go’ (USATODAY.com) Tom Brady of the Patriots says he’s ready to go for the match-up against the New York Giants after getting some therapy and doing drills to test his injured right ankle.

Carroll turned down Redskins (NFL.com) Adam Schefter of the NFL Network reports that Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder flew to St. Louis, MO to talk to USC head coach Pete Carroll about the vacant head coaching position in the nation’s capital.  Carroll reportedly turned down the overture.

Right now, I’d take Brady over Joe (The Press Democrat) Matt Maiocco of The Press Democrat (Santa Rosa, Calif.) writes in his Super Bowl XLII blog that he’d take Tom Brady over NFL Hall of Famer Joe Montana…sorta.

Sources: Warriors to sign veteran Webber (ESPN.com)  Marc Stein, the NBA reporter for ESPN.com, writes that the Golden State Warriors are on the verge of inking veteran Chris Webber despite the fact that he and head coach Donn Nelson have a feud that dates back some 14 years.

…and finally…

50 thoughts from Australian Open (SI.com) Jon Wertheim of SI.com drops his top 50 list of things that captured his fancy “Down Under.”

News and notes while Dan Marino’s cell phone rings — again…

Report: Tulowitzki, Rockies agree to record pact (MLB.com) Via The Denver Post, the Colorado Rockies and shortstop Troy Tulowitzki have agreed on a contract extension that will pay him $30 million over six seasons.

Dungy to announce future on Monday (ESPN.com) According to ESPN.com’s Chris Mortensen, Indianapolis Colts owner Robert Irsay believes that head coach Tony Dungy is leaning towards returning.

New Golfweek editor will apologize for controversial cover (USATODAY.com) Jeff Babineau, the newly appointed editor of Golfweek, will apologize for a picture of a noose on its cover to illustrate a package of stories about Golf Channel anchor Kelly Tilghman.

Source: UCLA hires Chow as OC (ESPN.com) Norm Chow has been hired by UCLA as offensive coordinator, sources close to Chow told ESPN’s Chris Mortensen.

Louisville’s Brohm will not play in Senior Bowl (SI.com) According to SI.com’s Tony Pauline, Louisville quarterback Brian Brohm has elected not to take part in the Senior Bowl.  He joins Boston College signal caller Matt Ryan on the list of top-rated quarterbacks backing out.

NHLPA head: More teams for Canada (Palm Beach Post) Within this Florida Panthers notebook for the Palm Beach Post, NHL Player’s Association topper Paul Kelly would like for the league to consider Canadian cities should they decide to expand again in the near future.

…and finally…

Q&A with Brian Boitano (USATODAY.com) What would Brian Boitano do? Sit down with Amy Rosewater of USATODAY.com, that’s what (sorry, we just wanted to use a South Park reference).

News and notes while getting prepped for some football…

Chargers: Rivers doubtful (SignonSanDiego.com) Despite what sources are saying within the organization, Phillip Rivers is considered “doubtful” for the AFC Championship.  Rivers is said to have a partially torn anterior cruciate ligament in addition to a sprained medial collateral ligament.

WVU faces new criticism, this one alleging hiring bias (ESPNU) College football writer Ivan Maisel unveils more details on the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette report that former West Virginia offensive coordinator Calvin Magee didn’t get a shot at the head coaching job because he was black.

Jones Jr. wins handily over Trinidad (AP/SI.com) Roy Jones, Jr. dominated opponent Felix Trinidad in a unanimous decision at Madison Square Garden.

Day 7: Henin, Sharapova cruise (AP/USATODAY.com) Justine Henin and Maria Sharapova rolled forward to the Australian Open quarterfinals after each closed out their opponents in less than 75 minutes.  Other notables: Roger Federer closed out his match roughly 4 1/2 hours; Lleyton Hewitt’s match began at 11:47 PM local time (he won nearly five hours later); Former No. 1 Ray Ferrero advanced, as did Venus Williams and Ana Ivanovic.

Landon Donovan sets goal scoring mark (USSoccer.com) In a friendly with Sweden, Landon Donovan became the all-time leading scorer for the U.S. Men’s National Team after scoring from the penalty spot in the second half to help defeat the Swedes, 2-0, at The Home Depot Center in Carson, California.

…and finally….

Tom Brady shows us how it’s done (YouTube) Hard work. Jump roping. Reading defenses. Yeah, that about sums it up.

News and notes on this get-away Friday…

Phillips said to succeed Brooks as Kentucky’s football coach (AP/Y! Sports) A guy named Joker Phillips will eventually become the Kentucky Wildcats head coach, succeeding Rich Brooks upon retirement.

Rays, Peña reach agreement (AP/SI.com) The Tampa Bay Devil Rays buck up to keep Carlos Peña, signing the ‘07 breakout player to a three-year deal for over $24 million.

Cardinals, Ankiel avoid arbitration (MLB.com) Agent Scott Boras made reference to Babe Ruth last week in finding one comparable player to pitcher-turned-outfielder Rick Ankiel, but his client nets a $900K deal and avoids arbitration.

The bright side of long-term deals (TheHockeyNews.com) Rory Boylen tackles the upside of long-term deals in the NHL.

…and finally…

Even the commentators fight in hockey (Awful Announcing) This short clip leads little introduction.

News and notes while Small White Ball finds the first video of the ‘Mike & Mike’ roast…

Immunity unlikely for McNamee (MLB.com) Brian McNamee’s lawyer has asked for immunity in exchange for his testimony and deposition before Congress and will likely get turned down.  Within this story is mention that Roger Clemens’ lawyers have tried to serve McNamee in his defamation lawsuit 12 times — without success.

Irsay: Caldwell would take over Colts should Dungy walk (AP/Y! Sports) Colts owner Jim Irsay tabs assistant head coach JIm Caldwell as Tony Dungy’s replacement should Dungy step down as rumored.

Day 5: Serena, Henin, Sharapova advance to round four (AP/SI.com) Serena Williams, Justine Henin and Maria Sharapova roll on to the fourth round of the Aussie Open.

Odom expected to announce he’ll retire at season’s end (ESPNU.com) Citing several sources, Andy Katz of ESPN.com reports that South Carolina Gamecocks hoops coach Dave Odom is expected to announce his retirement on Friday.

Mangino wins Bear Bryant award (AP/USATODAY.com) KU’s Mark Mangino nabbed the Paul A. “Bear” Bryant Award for college football’s coach of the year, edging out seven finalists that included Les Miles, who coached LSU to the national championship, Missouri’s Gary Pinkel and Frank Beamer of Virginia Tech.

…and finally…

One of the sickest goals you’ll ever see, scored by Columbus’ Rick Nash against the Phoenix Coyotes (NHL.com Video)

Note: We tried to embed this, but it messes up the formatting.  Our apologies.

News and notes while prepping an abbreviated edition of the ‘Lunch’…

Garrett spurns Ravens, Falcons (AP/SI.com) Jason Garrett, the Dallas Cowboys offensive coordinator and assistant coach, turned down offers from both the Baltimore Ravens and Atlanta Falcons to remain in Dallas.  Next stop: head coach of the Cowboys?

Michigan’s Rodriguez: Lies need to end (ToledoBlade.com) Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez broke his silence on the controversy that has followed since he left West Virginia for the Wolverines regarding allegations that he shred files as left the school.

Golfweek fuels lynching controversy with noose on cover (ESPN.com News Services) Cover of golf magazine depicts noose on cover in reference to The Golf Channel’s Kelly Tilghman’s remarks about PGAer Tiger Woods.  One word: Morons.

Former NHLer Ramage sentenced (CP/TSN.ca) Rob Ramage, who spent 15 seasons in the NHL, was sentenced for four years in prison for a crash that killed his friend, former Chicago Blackhawks player Keith Magnuson.

News and notes while Dana Jacobson loves her vodka…

Source: Yankees pull trade offer for Santana (1050 ESPN New York) NY Yankees Hank Steinbrenner still can’t make up his mind, having a change of heart on making a deal for Minnesota ace Johan Santana, reports Andrew Marchand of 1050 ESPN in New York.

If Rolen’s healthy, Blue Jays better (GlobeSports.com) Jeff Blair of the Globe & Mail writes the obvious.  So we’ll respond with the obvious: if our aunt had testicles, she’d be our uncle.

Report: Women approached to throw matches (AP/SI.com) In an interview with BBC Sports, WTA commissioner Larry Scott stated that several women were approached to throw matches and the association will aggressively investigate it.

Campbell’s Cuts: Time for Leafs to deal Sundin and Kaberle (The Hockey News)  Ken Campbell of The Hockey News writes that it’s time for the Toronto Maple Leafs to trade two of their two talents in Mats Sundin and Tomas Kaberle.

Two Vols cited for marijuana possession after traffic stop (AP/USATODAY.com) Tennessee freshmen wide receivers Gerald Jones and Ahmad Paige were cited for misdemeanor marijuana possession during a traffic stop, authorities say.

…and finally…

Amputee ineligible for Games (New York Times) Sprinter Oscar Pistorius’ quest for the 2008 Beijing Games have hit a roadblock after the IAAF officially announced their decision to prevent the sprinter from competing against “able-bodied” sprinters.

News and notes while Dick Vitale gets in gear to return, bay-bee…

Podres, Brooklyn World Series hero, dies at 75 (AP/SI.com) The left-hander was a four-time All-Star and the first Most Valuable Player in World Series history.

Congress calls, and baseball must answer (Y! Sports) National baseball writer for Yahoo! Sports Jeff Passan previews the Congressional hearings of Bud Selig, Donald Fehr and George Mitchell on Capitol Hill.

Serena dispatches victim in Aussie opener (AP/ESPN.com) Defending champ Serena Williams easily handled Jarmila Gajdosova 6-3, 6-3 in her Australian Open opening match.

Slaton opts for NFL draft (The Charleston Gazette) After finding out two weeks ago from the NFL that he’d be a likely second round selection in the NFL Draft, West Virginia running back Steve Slaton decided to skip his senior season at West Virginia.

IIHF announces formation of league (The Hockey News) The International Ice Hockey Federation (IIHF) announced the formation of a 12-team league that will compete from early October to late January and will, on an annual basis, crown the best team in Europe.

…and finally…

Chargers stun Colts minus LT, Rivers (AP/Y! Sports) Despite losing star running back LaDanian Tomlinson and quarterback Phillip Rivers with knee injuries, the San Diego Chargers stunned the hometown Indianapolis Colts 28-24 in the last game at the RCA Dome.  Colts quarterback Peyton Manning did throw for 402 yards, completing 33 of his 48 throws, but both interceptions killed deep scoring threats.

Giants topple Cowboys in Texas, advance to ‘The Frozen Tundra’ (AP/Y! Sports) The one Manning that people didn’t think would reach a conference championship game, did as Eli Manning threw two touchdown passes to Amani Toomer and led another scoring drive early in the fourth quarter to help the Giants knock off the favored Dallas Cowboys, 21-17.  Oh yeah — Terrell Owens cried after the game when talking about his quarterback, Tony Romo.